August 30, 2026 -- The Curious Case of Doug Ford’s Bellybutton
As compliant Canadians toss aspersions like cucumber salad at our friends to the south, the observer cannot help but wonder how we got here. How did a country once known as a beacon of friendliness become so consumed by hate and distrust? How did we go, in a very short time, from claiming the United States was bullying us on trade to openly bullying our closest friend at every turn?
The quick answer, offered by many, is that bobbleheads like Mark Carney and Doug Ford are playing tough against their inherently friendly natures for political advantage. In Ford’s case, he is trying to outdo the brand of nonsense that regularly comes from Trump. He has used billboard theatrics and the threat of cutting energy to America—a power he does not actually have. The benefit to Ontarians is unclear. The benefit to Ford shows up in the polls.
Then there is Carney. Both sides agree he called off negotiations. No one agrees exactly why. Rather than explain his position and the path forward by recalling Parliament, he is slated to speak to the European Parliament in September. Months ago a rumour started that Canada might join the EU. Now that unbelievable nonsense has traction. As Carney talks tough against the United States and tries to pull others onto his anti-U.S. train, objective Canadians cannot help but wonder what the hell is going on.
The answer, of course, is Trump.
President Trump has become the political gift that keeps on giving, no matter how farcical and self-serving the theatrics in Canada become. On one side is the blunt-force, meme-ready gibberish from the likes of Ford and Wab Kinew. On the other is Carney’s vague, sanctimonious victimhood dance. Together they form a cult-like montage of groupthink, meant to lock people into permanent membership in the anti-Trump clan.
Those who hate Trump rejoice, oblivious that Canada has no chance of winning an all-out trade war with America. A deal now, or soon, would be sold as victory over the evil president. No deal simply strengthens the anti-Trump bond many Canadian groups feel in their bones.
Buried underneath all of it is Ford’s bellybutton. Like objectivity in Canada, it is rarely seen — hidden beneath layers of political theatrics and self-interest.